Parenting can be a challenging task, especially when many of us don’t have the capability to navigate our own complex emotions and especially when we are concerned about drugs and alcohol, many of which parents have tried or used (or still do). Telling your teenage children to not drink and never try drugs would seem hypocritical if you have taken, or still take, that path. If you haven’t, then it’s a slightly different dynamic, but simply saying don’t do something seems a little out of touch when your children can join the army, drive, have sex, marry and leave school very soon.
If you’ve been open with them they might even know your past or current activities with drugs and alcohol and it does not seem right to lie to your children either. Ultimately you need to judge what is best for your family and much will depend how transparent you have been previously, your children’s current development path and how you feel your children view personal responsibility, decision making, health and other issues. Ultimately, we don’t want our children ruining their bodies and minds, which ALL substances do, despite our own misjudgements and that should be the objective for all and might mean changes of your own to set an example. Simply, if you’re life revolves around wine o’clock and the children see this perhaps it’s time for a change yourself? What examples are YOU setting?
Some guidance
Saying no to doing something will not result in the desired outcome, even if it comes from a place of love, at a time your teenager is expressing independence and feels the need to conform to peer pressures. It’s important to remember these facts when engaging and take yourself back to those confusing years before you engage. Barking instructions very seldom works and infact could backfire.
Parents generally believe alcohol is a more acceptable drug because it’s sold legally and quality is checked whereas drugs are of unknown quality and that should be the main point made to your teenagers. It’s a well known fact the personal, health and social impact of alcohol is very serious so bear that in mind also when discussing drugs and substances. Here are some tips to help you navigate this important aspect of parenting:
- Open and Honest Communication: Establish and maintain open lines of communication with your teenager. Encourage them to share their thoughts, feelings, and experiences without fear of judgment. Be a good listener and avoid being overly reactive or dismissive when discussing sensitive topics like drugs.
- Educate Yourself: Learn about common drugs, their effects, and warning signs of drug use. Stay informed about current trends and substances that teenagers may be exposed to. This knowledge will enable you to have more meaningful conversations and address any concerns effectively.
- Set Clear Expectations and Boundaries: Establish clear rules and expectations regarding drug use. Make it known that drug use is unacceptable in your family because of the health risks of taking unregulated substances, criminality and the strong addictive propensity of certain drugs. Clearly communicate the consequences of breaking these rules.
- Foster a Supportive Environment: Create an environment where your teenager feels comfortable and supported. Encourage them to engage in activities they enjoy, build healthy relationships, and pursue positive interests. By providing a strong support system, you can help reduce the likelihood of them turning to drugs as an outlet.
- Be a Positive Role Model: Set a good example by practicing healthy habits and responsible behaviour. Be mindful of your own substance use and ensure you are modelling the behaviour you expect from your teenager. Remember that your actions speak louder than words. Give up your substances you expect your family not to take including alcohol.
- Teach Decision-Making Skills: Help your teenager develop critical thinking and decision-making skills. Encourage them to consider the consequences of their choices and evaluate potential risks. Teach them strategies for handling peer pressure and making choices aligned with their values.
- Monitor and Supervise: While trust is important, it’s also crucial to monitor your teenager’s activities, especially during vulnerable periods. Keep an eye on their social circle, online activities, and whereabouts. Regularly check in with them and be aware of any changes in behavior or signs of distress.
- Stay Connected with School and Community: Maintain communication with your teenager’s school and engage in their academic progress. Encourage participation in extracurricular activities or community programs that promote a sense of belonging and connection. These activities can provide positive alternatives to drug use.
- Encourage Healthy Coping Mechanisms: Teach your teenager healthy ways to manage stress, anxiety, and other emotions. Encourage them to engage in physical activity, practice relaxation techniques, or explore creative outlets. These coping strategies can reduce the likelihood of turning to drugs for relief.
- Seek Professional Help if Needed: If you suspect or discover that your teenager is using drugs, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. Consult a healthcare professional, therapist, or addiction counselor who can provide guidance and support tailored to your specific situation.
Remember, building trust and maintaining open communication with your teenager is key. By being involved, supportive, and well-informed, you can help guide them towards making healthy choices and navigating the challenges they may face regarding drug use.