Growth Mindset & Action Plans

Growth mindset

What is a Growth Mindset?

“Nothing is impossible. The word itself says, I’m possible!” – Audrey Hepburn

achieve growth

Do you believe that you can improve your skills through dedication, hard work, and consistent effort? Do you believe that you can improve almost any skill, despite your starting point? Then you probably have what Carol Dweck would describe as a Growth Mindset. A growth mindset is different from a fixed mindset which is the belief that your abilities and skills are fixed traits, that cannot change.

When Mike Tyson said, “Talents got nothing to do with it”, he was talking about how hard work beats talent. Talent is something that you may have, but if you see your talent as something fixed, that you cant work on or improve, it will be useless against someone who deliberately practices becoming better. They will most likely, eventually become better than the person who started with more talent.

 

In the book Peak by the late Anders Ericsson, he talks about his research on how consistent effort can make you an expert in almost anything. Anders Ericsson was the author and psychologist, whose work Malcolm Gladwell discovered the 10,000-hour rule. Because it wasn’t fully explained in his book, Ericsson wrote his own book to explain it more fully.

Deliberate Practice

Ericsson explained what deliberate practice is. If you try to get good at anything with “deliberate practice” you can become an expert. You need to identify what you need to improve, and when you reach the point at which you can’t improve by yourself, you need a teacher or mentor who knows how to teach you how to become better. This constant process of improvement with deliberate practice is what turns people into experts. It can take significantly less than 10,000hrs or much longer, depending on how you practice.

deliberate practice

Wolfgang Mozart

In the world of classical music, many people consider Wolfgang Amedeus Mozart, as the greatest composer ever. A musical genius from a young age, he was known to be able to identify musical notes just by hearing them. He could play chords by 3, compose music by 5, and completed his first opera but just 14 years old. Was he born with this gift? Once you study Mozart’s background, you might be inclined to believe that this is not necessarily the case.

Mozart grew up in a musical family. With composer and conductor father who had already taught Wofgangs older sister to an elite level. It’s relevant to know that his father was already an expert, who also had experience in teaching to a high level, and was now creating another musical expert. Would he have been the Mozart we know, if he had not had this background?

We’ve seen similar examples recently with Serena Williams, and Carolina Wozinaki in tennis, Lewis Hamilton in Formula One, and Michael Jackson in music. Each of them, proof that the right environment can help you to reach the elite level. They reached their pinnacle earlier than most, likely because they start much earlier that most us, as in those cases their fathers were instrumental in the development. Maybe you are thinking, *I’m too late to start trying to be great at something*. There are many examples of people who have taken up sports at a late age. In Peak, Ericsson mentions a 90 year old man who decided he wanted to get his black belt in martial arts. He made a plan and found a good teacher, and worked his way toward his goal. Do you still think you can use age as an excuse?

Maybe you think the skill you would like to learn is too complicated. Well, you may be encouraged to know, that there is little correlation between intelligence and elite performance. Yes, expertise is possible for all of us. It’s about creating the right environment to encourage growth.

 

So how do you develop a growth mindset?

First, you need to acknowledge that you can always improve. Fundamentally we already know this, as we have all witnessed children as they age, how they become more competent as human beings… well most of them.

All your skills and abilities can be improved if you choose to make an effort. Obviously, we don’t have time to consciously improve everything about ourselves all the time. So you will need to make a choice, of what is important to you you and would benefit your life, of you became at. Identify what skills you value and how you could benefit from being better at them. Are they skill related to your work or a hobby? How much time can you put aside?

It can be inspiring to see others who are good at what you want to be better at, so you can see what is possible. With the exception of permanent physiological or psychological differences including, for example, permanent disabilities that can affect certain skills, there are very few limitations that cannot be overcome. Of course, it will take time, so you will have to decide on your priorities, and what level you would like to get to, in what realistic time frame.

And Action!

You have made the choice. You will become better at a particular thing. Now what? You will need to take yourself seriously. What I mean by that is, making a realistic plan, and holding yourself accountable. When working with people, I have found that a mistake we often run in, is underestimating how much time and effort a project will take. I’ve made this mistake myself. It happens when we don’t ask enough questions about what it is we would like to work on.

Taking a project seriously, means understanding it as fully as possible, the journey. If you have a busy life, or time planning is something that challenges you, make a to-do list of what you need to do both related to the skill you want to improve, and other things in your life that need to be done. Arrange the things on your list in a calendar so you know when you need to do things and how long they should take. Get started as soon as you can. If you are already motivated and you have time, get started right away. The longer you put off getting started, the higher the likely hood that things will arise to stop you from making progress, and before you know it, it will become simple a dream that never came true. Dreams turn into reality with action.

In Conclusion 

Growth Mindset is the belief that you can improve at almost anything. Deliberate Practice will facilitate your growth. Action starts with research and planning

Taking yourself seriously is respecting your plan and getting started

We are all capable of growth, we simply need to make the choice to do so, and actively take steps towards our growth.

So what actions will you take today?



Diet & Hydration for men

mens nutrition

What diet are you on at the moment?

Is your diet working for you? How are your energy levels and you mood? Do you need some inspiration? Winston writes about his personal relationship with diet and hydration.

If you are interested in your health on any level, you have almost certainly come across or tried some form of dieting. When I talk about dieting, I mean eating in a specific way with a specific goal.

Lifestyle, on the other hand, is how you live more generally speaking, and what you will discover is what I believe is more beneficial in the long term.

My journey started about 20 years ago, but I became very conscious of what I was doing around 2011. I thought I was underweight as a teenager and young adult. Many of us suffer from feelings of insecurity based on the way we look as teenagers, and young adults. You might start doing things to control your weight, your image, and general satisfaction with your body. In my case, I ate as much as I could stomach and trained the best way I knew how.

Looking back I realise that I made so many mistakes.

I ate too much. I ate the wrong foods. I trained in the wrong way. I trained too little or too much. My sleep was all over the place, I was generally naive and inconsistent. But we all have to start somewhere.

Then things started to make sense.

In my late twenties, I began looking for inspiration in the right places. Doctors, fitness experts, and people who had tried and tested what worked for them. What I realised was that there is no one rule that works for everyone, and many of the things we have been taught about nutrition since the 1940’s up until quite recently, were untrue, or not properly/fully researched.

If you start basing your efforts on research that is incomplete, you can be left feeling frustrated by lack of progress or poor results.

One example of this is, how Mark and I like to wake up at 5 am. That doesn’t work for everyone. If you do shift work for example, or you get home from your job at 1 am every day, your sleep routine will probably affect your diet.

Over a couple of years, I started to play around with my training, sleep routines, and diet. I went in with the approach that I could do any diet for 30 days without it being detrimental to my health. I learned a lot about how my body reacts to different foods, rest, and exercise.

Here is what I found out about diet and lifestyle, that I’m sure will be beneficial for you, and hopefully inspire you to take a fresh look at your current situation.

HYDRATION

Hydrate before you caffeinate (or anything else)

When you have slept for 6-9 hours, you have probably gone for at least 8-11 hours without water.

Second to air, water is the most important thing we need to survive. To put things in perspective, You can survive for 8-21 days without food, but you can only survive for 2-4 days without water.

As soon as you get out of bed, and before you do anything else, rinse your mouth, and have 1 to 2 glasses of water. Think of it as putting oil in your car, or on your bike chain. Your body just works better. Your brain and body work better when it is not dehydrated, so kick start your day as you mean to continue, with water.

If you are like me, the first thing I like is water inside, and out. So, I normally take a glass of water to the bathroom which I drink before and after I shower. This always gives me momentum for a great morning.

After that, I can judge if I am hungry or not. Normally, I’m not because of my intermittent fasting.

INTERMITTENT FASTING

After trying lots of different diets, I discovered that sugar made me really hungry. This became even most apparent when I started fasting.

During my zero carb diets (there were a couple), I found that I had less of an appetite. When I started intermittent fasting for 14-18 hours, I started eating fewer carbs and sugars for my last meal. It helped me feel less hungry in general, but especially in the morning.

Another benefit of fasting is that because I am more conscious of what I eat, I generally eat healthier. I notice on my non-fasting days, I sometimes eat relatively badly. That’s where I squeeze in the week’s unhealthy foods, oops!

Another bonus is that eating once or twice a day, requires less effort (also less time and money). Eating more nutritional food, can leave you needing less food. I know it is often more expensive to eat healthy salads, and quality foods, but I’ve found that eating higher quality and lower quantity still works out cheaper. I thought I would lose weight and that my training would be negatively effected, but it turns out to be opposite. My weight is stable, and I feel stronger at the gym on and empty stomach. Longer cardiovascular sessions can be a challenge, so I might cheat with a high carb drink or muesli bar if I can feel that my energy is low.

Intermittent fasting became easy, when it became a lifestyle rather than a diet. I am not very strict with my timing, which makes it easier to plan around it. But my partner and other friends tend to be quite strict about their 16/8 routines. There are a few smart phone apps to help you.

WHY IS FASTING IMPORTANT?

Fasting helps to cleanse the body of toxins. It also puts the body under stress in the same way that resistance training and cardiovascular training stimulates the body to grow stronger.

Later during each period of fasting your body starts to burn fat as an energy source, which is great for weight loss and balancing blood sugar levels.

After a long time of experimenting with foods, I learned what my body reacts best to in different circumstances, and how to use foods, to get the desired effect.

If I want to fast, I reduce my sugar intake up to the beginning of my fast and preferably through the whole day, however, if I am recovering from or planning to have an intense hypertrophy gym session (training with heavy weights until muscle failure), I will increase my carb intake before my high protein meals, and before and after training. I might even break my fast early for the early morning sessions if I’m feeling low on energy. There is no reason to pass out on the assault bike.

You should give at least 2-3 hours between bedtime and your last meal; also try to avoid too much water before bedtime. Maybe just a few sips before you go to bed. This is because you will sleep better if your stomach is not trying to digest food, while you are lying down. It may sound obvious, but many of us get into bad habits, of late meals.

LIFESTYLE OR DIET?

At first glance it might seem like a lot of different things to change in your life, when it comes to food, but I assure you, if you take it one step at a time, things start to fall into place, and before long, you will have created a much healthier way of eating, which fits in to your life and is easy to maintain, without too much effort.

The difference I have found with looking at it as a lifestyle change as oppose to a diet, is that diet is often associated with some kind of goal like losing a specific amount of weight or a competition on a particular date. When the goal has been reach, the motivation for the diet disappears. On the other hand, with lifestyle you are choosing to live in a particular way because it is healthy, and not because of short-term temporary goals. Lifestyle is based on habits, and once those habits become your normal way of living, you don’t have to use much energy thinking about them.

I am fortunate that my partner has a similar diet to mine, as it makes it easier when we are cooking or eating out.

I would recommend being explicit with people who might be affected by the way you eat, especially with timing, as this can be one of the more practical challenges, when living with other people.

If you do some kind of shift work, be realistic about when you can create 8 hours windows for eating either during or after work. And carry some nuts or other healthy snacks around in the beginning, as you get to know how your body reacts to the changes you make.

You can spend time reading lots of different people about your diet, but in the end, you need to try it out for yourself.

As you research more about how to take care of your health through what you eat, remember that your body and the way you live, is different to others, so you will need to experiment for yourself. You can survive most things from 30 days, so give it a shot and tell us about your experience.

If you would like to know about Blue Mind, you can contact us here

Finding Purpose

What’s the point? Finding Purpose

Have you ever found yourself procrastinating, or doubting the point of what you are doing? Have you ever lost motivation and had a hard time trying to find it again? You are not alone. Most, if not all of us, have experienced times where we didn’t feel like it. Even when we are doing things that we actually like doing, we can have moments where we feel like “what’s the point?”.

Whenever we do anything, it is to get from point A to point B. Point A is where we are, whether that be a physical place or the way we feel emotionally. Point B is where we would like to be, or what we would like to have or feel. Sometimes our journey is defined by others, for example, an employer, our parents, or some other authority figure in our lives. But hopefully, most of what we do is because of what we want and believe in. 

This is purpose. Ideally, this is the motivation, the drive, the reason behind our actions. Getting from A to B requires imagination, planning, and action.

But how clear are you when it comes to your purpose?

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”

 – Soren Kirkegaard

As we become more clear about our purpose, everything we could do to get there becomes more clear too, and anything that would detract from us getting there becomes more obvious. We become more conscious of our actions and the actions of those around us, in relation to our objectives.

So how do you find your purpose?

Even if you feel unsure right now, there will be signs. In my opinion, the purpose of life is to do more good than bad during our lifetime. I know, that’s very vague, but, it allows us plenty of space to fill in our own more specific purpose. Clues to what you should be doing are in the stories you know about yourself, *says the narrative coach*. Let me explain.

It’s very natural for us to explain things in the form of stories. It’s no surprise that we do the same when we talk about ourselves to others, or even when we talk to ourselves. The problem is, if I should talk about who I am after 40 years of life experience, I will try my best to keep it concise. My story will not be 40 years long, I think most people would appreciate that. Therefore, I’m going to have to skip a few details, and events, to condense 40 years down to about a few seconds or minutes (depending on the context of the storytelling). I suspect you would do the same. So which parts of your story are you going to focus on? Maybe just as importantly, which parts are you going to skip? and why?

The better you understand your past, the better you will be at choosing which doors to go through next.

Here are a few things to consider, that will bring you closer to your purpose.

1 – If you listen carefully to how you describe yourself, you will likely start to notice a pattern. There will be themes that come up again and again. What emotions did you experience during the event, and while retelling the story?

2 – Now consider the things you know that you enjoy doing. Take some time to try to understand what it is about that activity that you enjoy. Maybe it’s your hobby or your choice of career. It’s highly likely that there will be some overlap with the stories you’ve been telling about yourself.

3 – What are you good at? Another element that may give you clues, and overlap with the previous two, (stories and enjoyment). Normally things that we are good at, give us positive feelings, and we like to repeat doing them. Think of some moments in your life where you did something that you were proud of. Were there actions that you took during those events, that you would want to repeat?

4 – Finally, What is needed, in the environment, you are in, or could be a part of? As you discover things that your environment could benefit from, consider if there is any overlap, between what is needed and what you are good at, that you enjoy doing.

Once you have spent time thinking about these four factors, and maybe come to some conclusion, go out and try doing one or some of the ideas that came up. There is a chance that you didn’t get it exactly right the first time, but as you try different things, you will be starting your journey, consciously towards your purpose. It may require you experimenting, to help identify your purpose more clearly.

What if you don’t feel like you are getting closer to figuring out your purpose?

Be patient. It may take a while to figure things out, and time and experimenting are part of the process. 

I hope you can use this to find your purpose. If you still feel it’s too far away, then contact us at Bluemind.

Male Ego & Vulnerability

What is the male ego and how does it work? Why is it there, and how does it affect our lives. I expect the reason you would read this blog is that it might help you better understand something about yourself or your life. And you are probably here because you want to improve something. In the following blog, you should find some information to help you understand and control your own ego, and understand others.

HOW DOES YOUR MALE EGO AFFECT YOU?

To answer this question, we have to first establish what we mean by the ego. Many would agree, that the ego is what we experience as ourselves; who we are, that separates us from other people and things. Our identity. As you read, you may realise some things that make you, You.

As soon as you started interacting with the world, even before you were conscious of it, you have been developing an ego. Before you were born, you reacted to the sound of your parent’s voice, and other things like the hormones passing through you from your mother.

The first thing you learn was to search for food (most likely your mother’s breast), and one of the first ways you learned to communicate was by turning your head away from what was being offered, meaning “no”. This is where shaking your head to signal “no” comes from.

Your biological preferences combined with what you were exposed to in your environment, created the foundation on which everything else was built, from the food you ate to the language and culture you developed.

You’ve spent your whole life-giving meaning to the things and events you’ve experienced. But what happens when you can’t make sense of things? What happens when things seem meaningless or go against what you have chosen to accept as “the truth”? What happens when you meet someone who can’t understand your way of seeing things?

When egos meet, is one area we can see how egos affect us.

HOW EGO DEFENCE MECHANISM WORKS?

We’ve established that the ego is who we believe ourselves to be, and who we believe others see us as. But what if we are faced with a situation or new piece of knowledge that challenges our beliefs?

When you learn something that changes your beliefs, some old beliefs have to die. This can be painful, and your ego has developed to try to protect you from that pain. We can either fight against the new information, or we can try to rearrange our understanding of the world, to make it fit in. Both require some thought, most likely both consciously and unconsciously. The more our strategies lean on the side of denial, the more we can describe these strategies as immature. The more we try to understand the new information in relation to current beliefs (trying to understand what is true), the more we can describe these strategies as mature. If we see it as acceptable we can assimilate it into our current belief system.

Immature defence mechanisms may include behaviour that deny or refuse to accept new information. More mature defences often include behaviour that tests the new information against what the we already accept to be true, to see if it could also be true. So its a choice of denial or assimilation.

Problems of ego can occur when you don’t establish alignment with your inner and outer world, and the new information presented to us, you can end in a state of cognitive dissonance, which is where you are attempting to exist in two opposing beliefs, for example behaving as if one thing is true, even though you are experiencing evidence that suggests otherwise.

The more conscious you are of the strategies you use, the more likely you are to use mature defences. Next time you discover some uncomfortable news, observe how you react to it. Do you deny it or try to understand it?

HOW DOES EGO RUIN RELATIONSHIPS?

Ego in itself does not ruin relationships. The more insecure you are in yourself, the more you will want to protect yourself from feeling wrong (even when you are wrong).

Those who have never looked inside and understood exactly what triggers them and why to tend to have very strong reactions to when they feel judged. Their reactions can damage relationships, especially if the relationship is with someone who is also insecure. I tend to find, the more secure someone is, the more patience they show when it comes to differing beliefs.

CAN MALE EGO BE A GOOD THING?

Ego is a good thing when we use constructive/mature strategies. It is what keeps us whole in a healthy way, not only keeping track of all the different parts of us and our environments that make us who we are, but also keeping track of our past, present and potential.

A healthy whole is one that allows us to experience the world without feeling that our identity is threatened, while at the same time not denying the truth.

Acceptance that new information need not create an existential problem for us. You are still the same person, when you find out that your partner has been unfaithful, or you didn’t get the job that thought you already had. Something is different to what you thought, and you can use that information to discover what has changed, or where you made and error. In any case, you as a whole are still you.

Think of your understanding of the world as a map, and you have discovered information that changes what you thought the territory looked like. Now you can reanalyse the terrain. If the information was always there, maybe you need to reconsider, through which lens you were viewing the map.

HOW CAN YOU ENCOURAGE MATURE STRATEGIES?

I remember being at a staff meeting a few years ago, where there was a complaint about something that had happened. The description of the event was described in a very vague way, maybe intentionally as it was used as an example of undesired behaviour. I couldn’t help but think that the meeting was focused on something that I had done, clouding how I received the information. At the end of the meeting, I asked specifically, if the situation was related to something I had done. Fortunately, it had nothing to do with me. But, I had sat in a defensive position for an hour because I thought I was under attack when actually I wasn’t. Sometimes we read things between the lines that are not there, and we assume it’s something about us, because what we focus on colours the way we experience the world. This is what I tend to do now.

SLOW DOWN

As soon as I feel myself getting triggered, I try to listen and observe objectively. In some cases, really step out of myself and observe my reactions, the others behaviour, and what is being said, both verbally and non verbally. Time is powerful and can be negative when we allow it to work against us, by rushing to reply, or thinking we need to give a response straight away. When you slow down and use time in your favour, two things happen. 1. You get to think more objectively and 2. The person who is pressuring you can give you more information.

EMPATHY

Try to put yourself in the other’s position, to get a better idea of where their behaviour is coming from. Is it based on you, or is it a mixture of other things going on in their life, or simply their way of looking at the world? Now that you understand, do you agree with their approach or is it irrelevant? Understanding their point of view does not mean that you agree. But it will advise how you should react.

WHAT DO YOU WANT

Be clear about what you want to achieve. You’ve given yourself time, you’ve understood their point of view. What you do next should be based on what you want to happen next. Let your behaviour and response be based on how best to achieve your desired result.

VULNERABILTY

When you are able to experience the world with patience and you feel secure in yourself, you will find it easier to engage with people more openly without feeling judged. The judgement of others shouldn’t necessarily make you want to change who you are. The primary factor in what develops and moulds you should be who you are trying to be. Part of that process is understanding who you already are. Even though you see yourself more fully than anyone else, there are elements that others see that you might not, as you only normally experience yourself through your own lens.

If you still get triggered by what others say about you, spend some time trying to understand what exactly it is that is creating that feeling. Take the time to understand where that belief comes from, and decide whether or not you own that belief. When you realise where you stand in relation to it, you can make a conscious decision about whether that will continue to be a part of your identity. Once you make this conscious decision, I’m certain you will become less triggered by it, allowing you to be more open.

What other strategies are you aware of for dealing with things that trigger your defence mechanisms?