Daily training is a mindset

Why you should train

A letter written to the U-16 boy’s rugby team pre season and mid pandemic 2020

“Firstly, congratulations on deciding to play rugby. It’s the greatest team sport in the world. You’ll learn more from playing rugby in your life than almost anything else, meet the finest people, visit the best places to play and watch it, get jobs through it and make memories soccer players can only dream about ;0).

Teamwork, victory, defeat, pain, fun, drama, resilience, motivation, friendship. The rugby family will look after you if you look after it.

Your season starts soon. Here are some thoughts.

Well done for pre-season. Well done for attending on Wednesday night and keeping fit during lockdown. Well done for stepping up to train. Now it’s time to raise our game…….

Keeping fit will enable you as a player and a team to not just have a good season but have the best season you can possibly have regardless of the skills and effort of the team or the opposition.  You can never leave a pitch not feeling satisfied if you have trained hard and left everything on the pitch.


Why should you train daily?

You have one body in your life and it’s capable of incredible things. Don’t be that middle aged guy in the pub with a beer belly. Don’t let your teammates down as you puff around the park to the breakdown, don’t wince in the tackle, but be that guy that gets back to help out your full back, hits hard and low and pushes for that line with 5 mins to go or chases down that kick when everyone else has their hands on their knees waiting for the final whistle.

So forget Wednesday. This about Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Everyday is about fitness, about Saturday, the whole season and it’s about the self discipline you need to move through life as the best version of yourself. Fit, strong, resilient and part of a team that all share the same motivations, values and ethos. You train for yourself, you train for your life and you train for your team.

So, starting asap, try to build a minimum of 30 mins of exercise into each day including

  • Weights and strength training 1-2 times a week (use whatever you have in the garden or buy some barbells and dumbbells) say do it Monday and Thursday for reps for 30 minutes each time minimum. Read this blog on why weightlifting is good for you.

  • One slow jog ( or walk) for at least 5km per week + (Weekend with the family maybe)

  • 1 session of 30 mins of 20 metre shuttle run (Basically beep tests) starting slowly and ending at full speed until failure. This will build speed and endurance. Take a 5 min break between sets (Monday is best for this)

  • Wednesday night training – now 90 mins long from next week

  • Do some Yoga or deep stretching for 15 mins daily at any time

  • Try and find another sport like tennis, cycling or swimming and do once a week (even play football if you must.

  • Eat as well as you can and get your sleep in

Once you start thinking of training as part of your daily routine it will simply become a way of life, you’ll feel better, look better, your confidence will grow and most importantly even when you don’t win or suffer setbacks you’ll be satisfied that you and the team gave it 110%. It’s important to build functional fitness and that’s why varying your activity is so crucial in life.

That’s why training and rugby is for life.

Even when you stop playing the character remains.

Good luck !”

Image by Sasin Tipchai 

Angry or lost boys?

By Emma Pritchard (Accredited Counsellor and Certified Forest Therapist)

Since qualifying as a counsellor in 2014  I have received many referrals for young boys and young male adults labelled as “angry” by their parents and professionals. Their angry and often destructive behaviours leading them to become isolated at both school and home, and in some cases transitioning out of mainstream education to an alternative provision.  Expecting to meet with a real life Incredible Hulk, on the contrary they have appeared with a gentleness, sensitivity, sadness and loneliness, and left me commonly felt a sense that these boys are more lost and confused than angry.

Anger is a very normal emotion/feeling  for us all and many express, but as I explore this emotion with my clients it is often accompanied by other feelings such as shame and anxiety. As human beings we don’t like to see Anger, we don’t like to hear Anger and we don’t like to be Angry,  so many of us suppress Anger, and Anger then becomes very good at hiding other feelings.  Much of my therapeutic work  over the past 7 years has centred around supporting young people to find positive self-care coping strategies and outlets for their angry ene

 

Common Anger Triggers

  • Not feeling heard in busy family environments– suppressed anger will then look out of control to parents.
  • Young people hearing adult conversations and mirroring poor adult behaviours which are often not age appropriate, and leave them feeling confused or scared and will commonly trigger reactive anger
  • Limited quiet space to recharge batteries in busy homes, which is very common when siblings are sharing bedrooms
  • Bereavements and loss such as divorce, as anger is a normal part of the grief/loss cycle
  • Too much indoor Tech & Lack of exercise within indoor/outdoor spaces to release natural energy
  • Worries about not feeling good enough within family and amongst peers and having poor adult communication around them offering too much instruction and not enough listening / empathy

Forest Bathing Work

In 2017, I began working with my young clients solely and intuitively in woodland spaces to support their challenging feelings and thoughts. Through my additional Shinrin Yoku/Forest bathing studies I became reminded of how innately we are all connected to nature and began to see how positively young people respond to being in an outdoor space. In the 1980s, the Japanese culture recognised that they were becoming eye dominated with their advanced technology, and they began to embrace natural environments with prescriptive walks connecting to all senses instead of medication,(pioneered by Dr Qing Li) to support overwhelming feelings of anger, anxiety and depression. The Shinrin Yoku research not only reduces these overwhelming feelings, but it also boosts moods, creativity and productivity and our immune systems!

So what can we do to help?

  • Educate that anger is a normal emotion, as long as it is channelled in a positive way. Teach them that is okay to make mistakes as we learn from them. No-one needs to be perfect – just the best they can be
  • Help them to understand and recognise the physical sensations they may feel when they are angry, for example feeling hot, clenched fists, gritted teeth
  • These boys need to feel loved when they are angry (younger boys respond well to being wrapped in a blanket and hugged to support emotional regulation )
  • Their voices need to be heard within non-judgemental and kind spaces with trusting adults. Engage young males with supportive mentors which is positive for busy working parents and separated families
  • Encourage engagement with team sports; rugby, football, cricket  to support self esteem and self-confidence – local clubs are ready to provide your children with positive mentors. Encourage them to cook/bake which will increase their self-esteem and confidence within family/peer environments
  • Support them to express their emotions by listening to music; songs can be a great way to express emotions
  • Be amongst nature – Woodland walks, beach days – encourage them to notice their environment – sounds/smells/ sights
  • Exercise : Outdoor pursuits – Camping, scouts, fishing, kayaking, paddleboarding, climbing, sailing or go to the gym/boxing. Infact any sport is a great way to let off steam, encourage self discipline and control
  • Looking after pets/animals will support them to build empathy, kindness and responsibility for others. Encourage engagement with art and creativity – painting and drawing our emotions is a great way to express ourselves

Even before the coronovirus pandemic we all had a responsibility to help our lost boys and teach them self-responsibility and self-care for their angry energy.  The young people I work with simply love kicking leaves and running around in outdoor spaces, so if there is resistance initially,  then start with simple activities.  Remember that negative patterns take time to break so continue with new routines until it becomes the new normal.

I support Dorset schools with 1 to 1 and group outdoor therapeutic sessions, so please contact me via emma.pritcharddcw on Instagram or Emma Pritchard- Dorchester counselling and well-being on Facebook or my website if you feel your school or child would benefit from therapeutic support.

If you are worried or concerned about safeguarding a young person who is presenting with Angry behaviours at home or school then please contact your family GP,  social services and or young people professionals such as CAMHS for advice and support.