Finding Purpose

What’s the point? Finding Purpose

Have you ever found yourself procrastinating, or doubting the point of what you are doing? Have you ever lost motivation and had a hard time trying to find it again? You are not alone. Most, if not all of us, have experienced times where we didn’t feel like it. Even when we are doing things that we actually like doing, we can have moments where we feel like “what’s the point?”.

Whenever we do anything, it is to get from point A to point B. Point A is where we are, whether that be a physical place or the way we feel emotionally. Point B is where we would like to be, or what we would like to have or feel. Sometimes our journey is defined by others, for example, an employer, our parents, or some other authority figure in our lives. But hopefully, most of what we do is because of what we want and believe in. 

This is purpose. Ideally, this is the motivation, the drive, the reason behind our actions. Getting from A to B requires imagination, planning, and action.

But how clear are you when it comes to your purpose?

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”

 – Soren Kirkegaard

As we become more clear about our purpose, everything we could do to get there becomes more clear too, and anything that would detract from us getting there becomes more obvious. We become more conscious of our actions and the actions of those around us, in relation to our objectives.

So how do you find your purpose?

Even if you feel unsure right now, there will be signs. In my opinion, the purpose of life is to do more good than bad during our lifetime. I know, that’s very vague, but, it allows us plenty of space to fill in our own more specific purpose. Clues to what you should be doing are in the stories you know about yourself, *says the narrative coach*. Let me explain.

It’s very natural for us to explain things in the form of stories. It’s no surprise that we do the same when we talk about ourselves to others, or even when we talk to ourselves. The problem is, if I should talk about who I am after 40 years of life experience, I will try my best to keep it concise. My story will not be 40 years long, I think most people would appreciate that. Therefore, I’m going to have to skip a few details, and events, to condense 40 years down to about a few seconds or minutes (depending on the context of the storytelling). I suspect you would do the same. So which parts of your story are you going to focus on? Maybe just as importantly, which parts are you going to skip? and why?

The better you understand your past, the better you will be at choosing which doors to go through next.

Here are a few things to consider, that will bring you closer to your purpose.

1 – If you listen carefully to how you describe yourself, you will likely start to notice a pattern. There will be themes that come up again and again. What emotions did you experience during the event, and while retelling the story?

2 – Now consider the things you know that you enjoy doing. Take some time to try to understand what it is about that activity that you enjoy. Maybe it’s your hobby or your choice of career. It’s highly likely that there will be some overlap with the stories you’ve been telling about yourself.

3 – What are you good at? Another element that may give you clues, and overlap with the previous two, (stories and enjoyment). Normally things that we are good at, give us positive feelings, and we like to repeat doing them. Think of some moments in your life where you did something that you were proud of. Were there actions that you took during those events, that you would want to repeat?

4 – Finally, What is needed, in the environment, you are in, or could be a part of? As you discover things that your environment could benefit from, consider if there is any overlap, between what is needed and what you are good at, that you enjoy doing.

Once you have spent time thinking about these four factors, and maybe come to some conclusion, go out and try doing one or some of the ideas that came up. There is a chance that you didn’t get it exactly right the first time, but as you try different things, you will be starting your journey, consciously towards your purpose. It may require you experimenting, to help identify your purpose more clearly.

What if you don’t feel like you are getting closer to figuring out your purpose?

Be patient. It may take a while to figure things out, and time and experimenting are part of the process. 

I hope you can use this to find your purpose. If you still feel it’s too far away, then contact us at Bluemind.

Why gratitude matters

Gratitude is fundamental to the real you

This is blog I’ve been itching to write. Metaphorically.

Why? Seven years ago I woke up to the fact that I had been constantly searching for something else, a better job title, bigger house, more stuff and I stopped. We are culture-scaped to strive for possessions. Whilst still ambitious and have goals, gratitude has bought more contentment. I enjoy the process of growth and creation, in activities, business and in life more than the end result and am grateful to have the opportunity to grow. Gratitude has become ingrained in who I am. And it helps. Why is it then that gratitude matters?

Often when you lose something you start to appreciate it. A person. Health. Friendship. Peace of mind. A good job. You become grateful for people and experiences when you have them. In the present. One starts to appreciate that one can’t wait to be happy when life will alway have challenges and dark times. As the quote goes ” You can’t see the stars without the dark”. Waiting to have something or be somewhere else to be happy is a mistake. So gratitude anchors this realisation that today you have what you have and it may not get any better than this. If it does it’s a blessing.

“The heart that gives thanks is a happy one, for we cannot feel thankful and unhappy at the same time.” – Douglas Wood

Daily Gratitude

There are a few ways to develop gratitude based mindset.

  • Every morning or evening spend 5 minutues consciously thinking about what you are grateful for. Health, people, nature, your home, your dreams, being alive.
  • Knowing you are going to die reinforces gratitide. Nobody gets out alive.
  • Have a post it note or a phone calender alarm set to remind you
  • I personally meditate and I think Gratitude, Gratitude, Gratitude as my mantra as part of my #5am club start
  • Then act on those feelings. Check in on someone who makes your life better and tell them you care. Do something for someone else without expectations. Take a walk and appreciate the beauty of the world. Plan some travel and be grateful for the opportunity. Honour your health by eating well and exercising daily.
  • Make contribution and social value part of your daily mindset and annual goals. What are you doing to help others to honour the good things you have been blessed with? Giving back comes from a realistion that what you have is given to you from the universe and can just as easily leave.
  • Learn to not take anything for granted. All good things end. Build a mindset of acceptance and gratitude will flow into you. Don’t wander around being ungrateful with a victim mindset. You’ll come across as a bellend.

“Wear gratitude like a cloak, and it will feed every corner of your life.”- Rumi

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” – Epicurus 

As a general guide anchoring your happiness around the outcome of materialism won’t make you happy. This is because your happiness and contentment generally comes from the following –

  1. Achieving goals that have purpose to you
  2. Helping others where your skills matter
  3. Being validated / feeling good about your contribition to the world
  4. Loving yourself with self care and healthy boundaries
  5. Co elevation with amazing people who value you. See our blog on co-elevation here
  6. Removing toxic people
  7. Make friends with change (Ram Dass)
  8. Gratitude for the now.

Idiot caveat – Yes I know we would all rather be rich than poor but that’s not really the point. Following the above reinforces your drivers to be successful across your life and not just having a large car with a pointless number plate. Money is good but it’s not the end desirable. Career or business success is about the growth journey and creating something useful you can be proud of.  Those seeking only material goods for the sake of it typically crash and burn in my experience.

“When it comes to life the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude.” – GK Chesterton

So, start today, think a little about who and what you value and repeat daily

Before long it will become part of THE REAL YOU

Ed is a co-founder of Blue Mind. He is a Start up business coach. Business owner. Father and speaker on men’s personal development, the sharing economy and start ups and can be contacted at edward@bluemindapproach.com

“This blog is dedicated to my Nan who used to say to me daily “Mustn’t grumble. Be thankful for what you have”. Took me a while to remember but go there eventually”